I wrote this paper 3 years ago in college and came across it today. I am posting it because its content is something I've been thinking about this past year of my life as I've gotten married and moved away to Egypt.
Imagine yourself torn between the old and the new, the known and the unknown. Next, imagine you had to choose: the old and the known or the new and the unknown. What would you choose? Are you brave enough to take that giant leap of faith knowing that the two could not be achieved together in any sort of harmony; one would always dominate the other? Or do invisible bonds stronger than you hold you to the known, thereby negating any need for a choice?
Sounds complicated doesn’t it? In fact, it’s a choice that millions of young Americans are forced to make in their lives in order to live a life they deem acceptable, only, these young Americans aren’t what many would consider ‘typical’. These young Americans have backgrounds, mores, values and beliefs that differ quite greatly from your average White Anglo Saxon American whose ancestors came from Europe to populate this country. The young Americans that I am talking about are the descendants of generations of Arabs having been brought to America forcefully or by those who came by choice. The real push began in the “period between 1880 and 1924, when more than 20 million immigrants entered the United States. Most of the immigrants came from Southern and Eastern Europe, but more than 95,000 Arabs came from Greater Syria. By 1924, there were about 200,000 Arabs living in the United States.”i However, I will not go that far back in the telling of this story, but knowing the background will give the audience a rare insight into a different culture, but one that has been brewing in the melting pot of America for hundreds of years. It is also a rare opportunity to witness the products of two distinct worlds that collided together.
It is hard to imagine that during the intervening years that these immigrants did not at least try to assimilate into American culture and submit willingly into the melting pot to be stirred in amongst the other flavors of the stew, like the potent Irish, or the spicy Latinos or even the cool Eastern Europeans. However, due to the nature and tenacity of the culture that these Arabs left behind in their home countries, it became a battle to hold on to their identity while at the same time, try to achieve the great American Dream that has shaped the nation and the world. Traditionally, Arabs may look physically different than the custom white-skinned, fair-haired immigrants; they have a naturally olive-toned complexion and darker features, but that is also not the rule. Arabs are quite diverse and according to the Detroit Free Press: “Arabs may have white skin and blue eyes, olive or dark skin and brown eyes. Hair textures differ. The United States has, at different times, classified Arab immigrants as African, Asian, white, European or as belonging to a separate group. Most Arab Americans identify more closely with nationality than with ethnic group.” Thus, it is no wonder that most people here in America rarely take notice of Arabs as being a separate race altogether. However, since the events of September 11, 2001, the Arab population of America has been thrust into the spotlight, like it or not, and this has been both advantageous as well as a drawback to the development of this demographic.
Seeking to find the ways in which this distinct demographic of America has assimilated into society is somewhat difficult because, if you ask most young Arab Americans, those born here and those born overseas, many will tell you they identify with both. I’ve decided to seek out four individuals, all Arabs and all either in college or having graduated college, to follow their stories and how they came to be who they are today and how they view themselves, rather than how society views them. The question that begs to be answered is: Is there truly such a thing as a Melting Pot of cultures? And the answer to that is: The identity young Arab Americans have forged for themselves here in America is a testament to how effective America is at assimilating other cultures.
Majeeda Pacha, Tarek Badawi, Ahmed Kassem and Nancy Qawasmeh have all volunteered to let us into their lives and ask them about how they feel about their current lives. According to Majeedah Pacha, a 19-year-old Junior at the University of Houston, “I feel much tied to America for obvious reasons, yet, at the same time, I grew up in a cultural atmosphere. I ate Arabic food, watched Arabic TV, and conversed with family members in Arabic. I have strong ties to both.” That much is obvious when one hears her speak in perfect English but sees her body wrapped in long, loose-fitting clothes and the veil covering her hair. Tarek Badawi, a 22-year-old Finance graduate from the University of Houston, “I feel a tie to both cultures,” adds as his hazel eyes and pale complexion stare back at me calmly and I almost forget who I am talking to because of his appearance that is so Non-Arab to those not acquainted with the physical diversity in the Arab World. It may seem strange to some people that there could be room enough to hold both cultures in these peoples’ minds, but it’s this dual loyalty that leads them to embrace both aspects of their identity.ii On the flip side of the coin, Ahmed Kassem, a 24-year-old student at the University of Houston and former student of the University of Texas says, “I consider myself an Arab,” and he does do adamantly, but with respect for the country he is in and what is has offered him. He recognizes that due to the relative free atmosphere of the culture here, he can be what he wants to be and not have to apologize for it, or so he told me, flexing his hulking, body builders’ biceps. In sharp contrast, tiny, almost fragile looking Nancy Qawasmeh, a 22-year-old college graduate, claims that, “I consider myself an Arab-American.” Knowing that each of these people has their own reasons for identifying with both cultures does not make it clear how they arrived at such a conclusion so early on their lives. Usually, it takes years and years to figure out who you are, only to lose that identity in a mid-life crisis, but not so with these people. In many ways, it’s as if they were forced to grow up and mature before their years in order to properly fit in.
It’s an age old dilemma that has confounded humans for ages: How do I fit in? Do I want to fit in? The answers are not always clear, and it often very difficult to see the common ground between the two opposing forces pulling you in different directions, almost like a magnet repelling it’s twin. In this case, the dilemma lies in the relatively simple, yet complex, dichotomy that is culture. What it is made up of: mores, values, beliefs. How it is practiced: holidays, clothing, grand leaders. How it is spread: orally, through divine books, by sea or land. It is no easy task trying to keep track of all the new things a society can come up with to further embed its culture into the minds of its members, ensuring loyalty at all costs. In the case of the Arab World, the culture is tied up with religious traditions and beliefs and it is not always easy to separate the two, because in reality, they are quite different.
What the world has been presented is the image of the Taliban, Al-Qaeda, Pakistan and Saudi Arabia as the image of the Arab/Muslim culture. The head to toe covering of the woman, the turbaned men and the conservative attitude and hatred towards the west and atmosphere of sex, drugs, rock n roll and partying. The world sees daily, on the news, on the internet, the burning of the American flag, the taunts and shouts “DEATH TO AMERICA! DEATH TO BUSH!” It reads about the laws enacted under the Islamic name to oppress individuals and institutions. It seems that the image of the West in Arab/Muslim eyes is that of one massive orgy that is having a love affair with the concept of nudity and free expression of one’s body and sexuality; that that is all there is to western culture: SEX, flashing bright like a neon sign.
It doesn’t help that many of the youth here are first-generation American; the first in their families to be born in America and become American at birth, unlike their parents, who immigrated here for better opportunities, and better lives for their kids, and who had the idea they could keep their children Arab and still raise them in America without fear that they’d become too American, embrace this ‘excessive’ and ‘base’ culture and forget about their heritage and legacy. Majeedah’s parents have been here for 20 years, Tarek’s for 18 years, Ahmed’s for nine years and Nancy’s for over 30 years. In that time, it’s hard to not change and become more Americanized themselves, but because their parents knew a different life and different society, they strained to instill that in their children. However, their noble intentions didn’t always persevere. They fought hard, and they fought long, but eventually, their kids became the hybrids they feared, and so began the struggle to bring them back into the fold, and forbid them from participating in this culture, like so many later did in rebellion.
But what the world does not see or hear or read about is the dominant group in the Arab World and among Arab Americans, particularly the young, is the group that looks like Tarek and Nancy, Ahmed and Majeedah. The group that dresses much like anyone else does these days, in jeans and shirt, or a top and a short skirt, or even a veil and long skirt, paired with a ruffled top that is at once fashionable as it is conservative. Looking at these four faces, it is hard to reconcile those images with the images of the oppressed women and harsh men. In fact, it is those images that are the exception to the rule and not the other way around. Nancy, dressed in a short dress, her hair tied up in a pony tail, sunglasses perched on top of her head and her made-up face stares at me in confusion as I ask her if she’s succumbed to this culture of sex and nudity, if it has made her more open, or, more defiant of her Arab side. She is not hesitant to deliver the blunt truth of her feelings.
“Yes it has made me be more open but also the Arab culture has made me more open because I always felt oppressed so I rebel and be more open and comfortable in my own body. Being around naked people isn't what makes one run around naked. It's the fact that there's that rule that says even though they're naked you're not allowed to so then that makes someone want to rebel and be naked like the rest.”
Nancy seems to be among the majority of Arab Americans who have kept their Arab skin but have replaced the insides with American made parts. “While they may be closely tied to their countries of origin, most Arab Americans were born in the United States… this is reflected in the expression, "Truly Arab and fully American.”iii She is representative of the attitudes they now have towards their clothing, their sexuality and even their ideas that, this open idea towards sex, is not just an American or Western thing, it’s a global phenomenon. According to Tarek, who is of Egyptian descent, “not really, openness to sex I believe isn’t American but just the affect of time and globalism, Egypt being just as bad as here in terms of sex or close.” So, it would seem, the reversed prejudice the Middle East has towards America for it being too open, is reserved for the older generations and those that want to fight against the change. However, Majeedah proves that there are still some out there whose attitudes toward sex remains tied to their cultural values, whose roots are in the Islamic teachings.
“There’s no doubt that sex is popular and one can decipher this by simply watching TV, shopping, or listening to music. Sex sells, especially in this society. One thing I appreciate about my culture is that it is more conservative in this aspect. It hasn’t impeded my performance or excelling. If anything, it has done the opposite. Since I willingly choose to not embrace such a lifestyle or motive, I can keep my priorities straight. It just gives me a greater appreciation for what I was fortunate to have instilled in me growing up.”
The difference in attitude among the young begs the question: why is there a difference? The answer to that is surprisingly logical. The difference lies in the fact that since the events of 9/11, many young Arabs saw themselves singled out and harassed by their peers, who prior to 9/11 saw them as just any other people. They were targeted by taunts and sneers, hate and prejudice where before, they simply fit in. This led to some of these young adults to totally rebel against their Arab identity in disgust because they blamed it for their problems. They blamed the Islamic teachings they’d been brought up on, the very same ones that told them to embrace who they were and to avoid certain things like sex and alcohol, excess and greed. Yet, others embraced their Arab identity and persevered in the atmosphere of hate. They took the good from both cultures and made it into a hybrid known as the Arab American. They recognized that the culture itself was not to blame, but the rigidity of those who practiced it was the main factor in the division. Islam was a way of life with edicts sent down by god to govern their lives, but with enough personal freedom to make the correct choices. “It is a religion that agrees with the nature and intelligence of man.”iv America embraces the freedoms of individuals to make their own lives and choose their own destinies. So it is not hard to see how these hybrids came to master the identity.
The ones that rebelled sought comfort in the American culture, the one they defined, at least subconsciously the same way their parents did; Sex, partying, open attitude to anything they pleased and damn the consequences. So, they formed an addictive relationship with this new rebellion, almost like it was a drug and they needed a fix, a taste of the forbidden fruit, just to see what it was like and why it had been banned from them. In time, the culture to them came to mean less about sex and excess and more about just the open mindedness and seeming acceptance of all things, no judgment passed, no taunting. “Yes, the culture of openness to sex has changed me coz it is very easy to do what other people do without feeling bad about it,” says Ahmed, with almost a look of chagrin on his face, when I asked him if he had rebelled and how it had changed him as a person. He explained to me that the fact that America had become a country where thousands of different ideas could meld together into new ideas, where the good from the Arab culture could be fused with the good from the American culture, made it possible to assimilate in society without thinking you had lost anything in the process. It was an interesting thing to realize. I asked the same thing of Nancy, Tarek, and even Salma Taher, a friend of Majeedah’s that happened to sit in on her interview. They all resoundingly agree that it is possible to mesh together ideas from the old culture, with ideas from the new culture. But they all also agreed that it didn’t work with all ideas and beliefs, and that they’d end up sacrificing something of themselves to create the new part of themselves. For example, in Islam, and in the Arab culture in a larger sense, it is forbidden for men and women to have relationships outside of marriage for the purpose of protecting against adultery but three of the people I had interviewed had been in relationships before that involved some form of physical closeness. They sacrificed a firm belief for the idea that it was ok to have a relationship before marriage that was between two willing people, and because it was the norm here, it didn’t make it so bad, because they fit in now.
Regardless of which decisions these four individuals chose to make, or not make, the one clear thing that they all have in common is their acknowledgement that they are two things at once, two halves of a whole. They recognize that they are at once, both similar, and yet different than their full blooded American counterparts. They also realize they have an obligation to educate and inform people of their Arab/Muslim side. In 2007, thousands of American Muslims gathered together to create a short movie of what they wanted to tell the American nation, and the world, about Islam and their beliefs. My four subjects wholeheartedly agreed with them and looking at them, I realized that no matter what, they truly did love themselves and their identities, and that’s what mattered most.
Having come from loving themselves, to hating themselves(or not) or not knowing themselves, to loving themselves once again, I had a few more questions to ask my interviewees. Pertinent questions that I thought would truly help people understand that assimilation into American society is based more on the individual’s choice rather than pure peer pressure and influence of ‘American’ culture. My last few questions centered on their futures, what they foresaw for themselves, and particularly, for their children. I got random answers, as I came to expect. But, what I also got was the love of this country and its opportunities, and a love for their heritage and its values. When I asked about their children and where they would want to raise them, here in America or back home in their respective countries, whether it was Egypt, Jordan, Algeria or Palestine, Tarek said he’d like to raise his kids here “but would like them born back home.” Nancy responded with a somewhat shocking answer, despite her easy attitude, “No I will not raise my kids here and will like to move to the Middle East or Europe or even Australia.” Ahmed, with his body builder’s physique and the Devil-may-care attitude swiftly said, “I will definitely raise my kids overseas so they can hold onto their morals, and religion.” And the most intriguing and lengthy of the answers came from Majeedah, who’d love to raise her kids here because “I believe people from my culture or Muslim Americans, for a more accurate term, are assets to this country. One thing I love about this country is that there is a plethora of opportunities that you cannot find anywhere else. Couple that with individuals who have a great moral standing, thirst for knowledge, good work ethic, and desire for peace, you can achieve wonders and transform America to its maximum potential.” Indeed, America is, if nothing else, a safe haven for those seeking to better their lives, their country and their world. It is a place where you can start off one thing, and become another, like a caterpillar becoming a butterfly after hiding away its true self, only to suddenly burst free and take off into the world, secure in the knowledge that it has fulfilled its potential and is armed with all the tools it needs to survive.
I left my interviews with these young people filled with the conviction that although America is a melting pot of different ideas, values and beliefs, and although there are legacies lost and convictions broken in the process of melting together to form the ‘American’ identity (which is not always compatible with religion or culture) the answer to the question, is there truly such a thing as a Melting Pot of cultures? Is not the answer we came up with before, but rather, the answer is now, we are the ones who create the melting pot, and the ones that create the culture, by sacrificing some ideals and principles and acquiring others, still, by strengthening others and holding on to them. Tarek, Majeedah, Ahmed and Nancy are all only individual examples of the whole; they cannot be generalized into applying to all young Arab Americans be they Muslim or not. Their answers don’t apply to everyone and vice versa, because, the answer is in each young Arab American torn between America and their heritage, the answer is quite simply America is who you are inside and who you are inside is what America is.
i Arab American National Museum http://www.arabamericanmuseum.org/Arab+American+History.id.150.htm
ii Detroit Free press http://www.freep.com/legacy/jobspage/arabs/arab4.html
iii Detroit Free Press http://www.freep.com/legacy/jobspage/arabs/arab4.html
iv ‘A Walk Along the Beach’ a religious pamphlet by www.islamtomorrow.com
Imagine yourself torn between the old and the new, the known and the unknown. Next, imagine you had to choose: the old and the known or the new and the unknown. What would you choose? Are you brave enough to take that giant leap of faith knowing that the two could not be achieved together in any sort of harmony; one would always dominate the other? Or do invisible bonds stronger than you hold you to the known, thereby negating any need for a choice?
Sounds complicated doesn’t it? In fact, it’s a choice that millions of young Americans are forced to make in their lives in order to live a life they deem acceptable, only, these young Americans aren’t what many would consider ‘typical’. These young Americans have backgrounds, mores, values and beliefs that differ quite greatly from your average White Anglo Saxon American whose ancestors came from Europe to populate this country. The young Americans that I am talking about are the descendants of generations of Arabs having been brought to America forcefully or by those who came by choice. The real push began in the “period between 1880 and 1924, when more than 20 million immigrants entered the United States. Most of the immigrants came from Southern and Eastern Europe, but more than 95,000 Arabs came from Greater Syria. By 1924, there were about 200,000 Arabs living in the United States.”i However, I will not go that far back in the telling of this story, but knowing the background will give the audience a rare insight into a different culture, but one that has been brewing in the melting pot of America for hundreds of years. It is also a rare opportunity to witness the products of two distinct worlds that collided together.
It is hard to imagine that during the intervening years that these immigrants did not at least try to assimilate into American culture and submit willingly into the melting pot to be stirred in amongst the other flavors of the stew, like the potent Irish, or the spicy Latinos or even the cool Eastern Europeans. However, due to the nature and tenacity of the culture that these Arabs left behind in their home countries, it became a battle to hold on to their identity while at the same time, try to achieve the great American Dream that has shaped the nation and the world. Traditionally, Arabs may look physically different than the custom white-skinned, fair-haired immigrants; they have a naturally olive-toned complexion and darker features, but that is also not the rule. Arabs are quite diverse and according to the Detroit Free Press: “Arabs may have white skin and blue eyes, olive or dark skin and brown eyes. Hair textures differ. The United States has, at different times, classified Arab immigrants as African, Asian, white, European or as belonging to a separate group. Most Arab Americans identify more closely with nationality than with ethnic group.” Thus, it is no wonder that most people here in America rarely take notice of Arabs as being a separate race altogether. However, since the events of September 11, 2001, the Arab population of America has been thrust into the spotlight, like it or not, and this has been both advantageous as well as a drawback to the development of this demographic.
Seeking to find the ways in which this distinct demographic of America has assimilated into society is somewhat difficult because, if you ask most young Arab Americans, those born here and those born overseas, many will tell you they identify with both. I’ve decided to seek out four individuals, all Arabs and all either in college or having graduated college, to follow their stories and how they came to be who they are today and how they view themselves, rather than how society views them. The question that begs to be answered is: Is there truly such a thing as a Melting Pot of cultures? And the answer to that is: The identity young Arab Americans have forged for themselves here in America is a testament to how effective America is at assimilating other cultures.
Majeeda Pacha, Tarek Badawi, Ahmed Kassem and Nancy Qawasmeh have all volunteered to let us into their lives and ask them about how they feel about their current lives. According to Majeedah Pacha, a 19-year-old Junior at the University of Houston, “I feel much tied to America for obvious reasons, yet, at the same time, I grew up in a cultural atmosphere. I ate Arabic food, watched Arabic TV, and conversed with family members in Arabic. I have strong ties to both.” That much is obvious when one hears her speak in perfect English but sees her body wrapped in long, loose-fitting clothes and the veil covering her hair. Tarek Badawi, a 22-year-old Finance graduate from the University of Houston, “I feel a tie to both cultures,” adds as his hazel eyes and pale complexion stare back at me calmly and I almost forget who I am talking to because of his appearance that is so Non-Arab to those not acquainted with the physical diversity in the Arab World. It may seem strange to some people that there could be room enough to hold both cultures in these peoples’ minds, but it’s this dual loyalty that leads them to embrace both aspects of their identity.ii On the flip side of the coin, Ahmed Kassem, a 24-year-old student at the University of Houston and former student of the University of Texas says, “I consider myself an Arab,” and he does do adamantly, but with respect for the country he is in and what is has offered him. He recognizes that due to the relative free atmosphere of the culture here, he can be what he wants to be and not have to apologize for it, or so he told me, flexing his hulking, body builders’ biceps. In sharp contrast, tiny, almost fragile looking Nancy Qawasmeh, a 22-year-old college graduate, claims that, “I consider myself an Arab-American.” Knowing that each of these people has their own reasons for identifying with both cultures does not make it clear how they arrived at such a conclusion so early on their lives. Usually, it takes years and years to figure out who you are, only to lose that identity in a mid-life crisis, but not so with these people. In many ways, it’s as if they were forced to grow up and mature before their years in order to properly fit in.
It’s an age old dilemma that has confounded humans for ages: How do I fit in? Do I want to fit in? The answers are not always clear, and it often very difficult to see the common ground between the two opposing forces pulling you in different directions, almost like a magnet repelling it’s twin. In this case, the dilemma lies in the relatively simple, yet complex, dichotomy that is culture. What it is made up of: mores, values, beliefs. How it is practiced: holidays, clothing, grand leaders. How it is spread: orally, through divine books, by sea or land. It is no easy task trying to keep track of all the new things a society can come up with to further embed its culture into the minds of its members, ensuring loyalty at all costs. In the case of the Arab World, the culture is tied up with religious traditions and beliefs and it is not always easy to separate the two, because in reality, they are quite different.
What the world has been presented is the image of the Taliban, Al-Qaeda, Pakistan and Saudi Arabia as the image of the Arab/Muslim culture. The head to toe covering of the woman, the turbaned men and the conservative attitude and hatred towards the west and atmosphere of sex, drugs, rock n roll and partying. The world sees daily, on the news, on the internet, the burning of the American flag, the taunts and shouts “DEATH TO AMERICA! DEATH TO BUSH!” It reads about the laws enacted under the Islamic name to oppress individuals and institutions. It seems that the image of the West in Arab/Muslim eyes is that of one massive orgy that is having a love affair with the concept of nudity and free expression of one’s body and sexuality; that that is all there is to western culture: SEX, flashing bright like a neon sign.
It doesn’t help that many of the youth here are first-generation American; the first in their families to be born in America and become American at birth, unlike their parents, who immigrated here for better opportunities, and better lives for their kids, and who had the idea they could keep their children Arab and still raise them in America without fear that they’d become too American, embrace this ‘excessive’ and ‘base’ culture and forget about their heritage and legacy. Majeedah’s parents have been here for 20 years, Tarek’s for 18 years, Ahmed’s for nine years and Nancy’s for over 30 years. In that time, it’s hard to not change and become more Americanized themselves, but because their parents knew a different life and different society, they strained to instill that in their children. However, their noble intentions didn’t always persevere. They fought hard, and they fought long, but eventually, their kids became the hybrids they feared, and so began the struggle to bring them back into the fold, and forbid them from participating in this culture, like so many later did in rebellion.
But what the world does not see or hear or read about is the dominant group in the Arab World and among Arab Americans, particularly the young, is the group that looks like Tarek and Nancy, Ahmed and Majeedah. The group that dresses much like anyone else does these days, in jeans and shirt, or a top and a short skirt, or even a veil and long skirt, paired with a ruffled top that is at once fashionable as it is conservative. Looking at these four faces, it is hard to reconcile those images with the images of the oppressed women and harsh men. In fact, it is those images that are the exception to the rule and not the other way around. Nancy, dressed in a short dress, her hair tied up in a pony tail, sunglasses perched on top of her head and her made-up face stares at me in confusion as I ask her if she’s succumbed to this culture of sex and nudity, if it has made her more open, or, more defiant of her Arab side. She is not hesitant to deliver the blunt truth of her feelings.
“Yes it has made me be more open but also the Arab culture has made me more open because I always felt oppressed so I rebel and be more open and comfortable in my own body. Being around naked people isn't what makes one run around naked. It's the fact that there's that rule that says even though they're naked you're not allowed to so then that makes someone want to rebel and be naked like the rest.”
Nancy seems to be among the majority of Arab Americans who have kept their Arab skin but have replaced the insides with American made parts. “While they may be closely tied to their countries of origin, most Arab Americans were born in the United States… this is reflected in the expression, "Truly Arab and fully American.”iii She is representative of the attitudes they now have towards their clothing, their sexuality and even their ideas that, this open idea towards sex, is not just an American or Western thing, it’s a global phenomenon. According to Tarek, who is of Egyptian descent, “not really, openness to sex I believe isn’t American but just the affect of time and globalism, Egypt being just as bad as here in terms of sex or close.” So, it would seem, the reversed prejudice the Middle East has towards America for it being too open, is reserved for the older generations and those that want to fight against the change. However, Majeedah proves that there are still some out there whose attitudes toward sex remains tied to their cultural values, whose roots are in the Islamic teachings.
“There’s no doubt that sex is popular and one can decipher this by simply watching TV, shopping, or listening to music. Sex sells, especially in this society. One thing I appreciate about my culture is that it is more conservative in this aspect. It hasn’t impeded my performance or excelling. If anything, it has done the opposite. Since I willingly choose to not embrace such a lifestyle or motive, I can keep my priorities straight. It just gives me a greater appreciation for what I was fortunate to have instilled in me growing up.”
The difference in attitude among the young begs the question: why is there a difference? The answer to that is surprisingly logical. The difference lies in the fact that since the events of 9/11, many young Arabs saw themselves singled out and harassed by their peers, who prior to 9/11 saw them as just any other people. They were targeted by taunts and sneers, hate and prejudice where before, they simply fit in. This led to some of these young adults to totally rebel against their Arab identity in disgust because they blamed it for their problems. They blamed the Islamic teachings they’d been brought up on, the very same ones that told them to embrace who they were and to avoid certain things like sex and alcohol, excess and greed. Yet, others embraced their Arab identity and persevered in the atmosphere of hate. They took the good from both cultures and made it into a hybrid known as the Arab American. They recognized that the culture itself was not to blame, but the rigidity of those who practiced it was the main factor in the division. Islam was a way of life with edicts sent down by god to govern their lives, but with enough personal freedom to make the correct choices. “It is a religion that agrees with the nature and intelligence of man.”iv America embraces the freedoms of individuals to make their own lives and choose their own destinies. So it is not hard to see how these hybrids came to master the identity.
The ones that rebelled sought comfort in the American culture, the one they defined, at least subconsciously the same way their parents did; Sex, partying, open attitude to anything they pleased and damn the consequences. So, they formed an addictive relationship with this new rebellion, almost like it was a drug and they needed a fix, a taste of the forbidden fruit, just to see what it was like and why it had been banned from them. In time, the culture to them came to mean less about sex and excess and more about just the open mindedness and seeming acceptance of all things, no judgment passed, no taunting. “Yes, the culture of openness to sex has changed me coz it is very easy to do what other people do without feeling bad about it,” says Ahmed, with almost a look of chagrin on his face, when I asked him if he had rebelled and how it had changed him as a person. He explained to me that the fact that America had become a country where thousands of different ideas could meld together into new ideas, where the good from the Arab culture could be fused with the good from the American culture, made it possible to assimilate in society without thinking you had lost anything in the process. It was an interesting thing to realize. I asked the same thing of Nancy, Tarek, and even Salma Taher, a friend of Majeedah’s that happened to sit in on her interview. They all resoundingly agree that it is possible to mesh together ideas from the old culture, with ideas from the new culture. But they all also agreed that it didn’t work with all ideas and beliefs, and that they’d end up sacrificing something of themselves to create the new part of themselves. For example, in Islam, and in the Arab culture in a larger sense, it is forbidden for men and women to have relationships outside of marriage for the purpose of protecting against adultery but three of the people I had interviewed had been in relationships before that involved some form of physical closeness. They sacrificed a firm belief for the idea that it was ok to have a relationship before marriage that was between two willing people, and because it was the norm here, it didn’t make it so bad, because they fit in now.
Regardless of which decisions these four individuals chose to make, or not make, the one clear thing that they all have in common is their acknowledgement that they are two things at once, two halves of a whole. They recognize that they are at once, both similar, and yet different than their full blooded American counterparts. They also realize they have an obligation to educate and inform people of their Arab/Muslim side. In 2007, thousands of American Muslims gathered together to create a short movie of what they wanted to tell the American nation, and the world, about Islam and their beliefs. My four subjects wholeheartedly agreed with them and looking at them, I realized that no matter what, they truly did love themselves and their identities, and that’s what mattered most.
Having come from loving themselves, to hating themselves(or not) or not knowing themselves, to loving themselves once again, I had a few more questions to ask my interviewees. Pertinent questions that I thought would truly help people understand that assimilation into American society is based more on the individual’s choice rather than pure peer pressure and influence of ‘American’ culture. My last few questions centered on their futures, what they foresaw for themselves, and particularly, for their children. I got random answers, as I came to expect. But, what I also got was the love of this country and its opportunities, and a love for their heritage and its values. When I asked about their children and where they would want to raise them, here in America or back home in their respective countries, whether it was Egypt, Jordan, Algeria or Palestine, Tarek said he’d like to raise his kids here “but would like them born back home.” Nancy responded with a somewhat shocking answer, despite her easy attitude, “No I will not raise my kids here and will like to move to the Middle East or Europe or even Australia.” Ahmed, with his body builder’s physique and the Devil-may-care attitude swiftly said, “I will definitely raise my kids overseas so they can hold onto their morals, and religion.” And the most intriguing and lengthy of the answers came from Majeedah, who’d love to raise her kids here because “I believe people from my culture or Muslim Americans, for a more accurate term, are assets to this country. One thing I love about this country is that there is a plethora of opportunities that you cannot find anywhere else. Couple that with individuals who have a great moral standing, thirst for knowledge, good work ethic, and desire for peace, you can achieve wonders and transform America to its maximum potential.” Indeed, America is, if nothing else, a safe haven for those seeking to better their lives, their country and their world. It is a place where you can start off one thing, and become another, like a caterpillar becoming a butterfly after hiding away its true self, only to suddenly burst free and take off into the world, secure in the knowledge that it has fulfilled its potential and is armed with all the tools it needs to survive.
I left my interviews with these young people filled with the conviction that although America is a melting pot of different ideas, values and beliefs, and although there are legacies lost and convictions broken in the process of melting together to form the ‘American’ identity (which is not always compatible with religion or culture) the answer to the question, is there truly such a thing as a Melting Pot of cultures? Is not the answer we came up with before, but rather, the answer is now, we are the ones who create the melting pot, and the ones that create the culture, by sacrificing some ideals and principles and acquiring others, still, by strengthening others and holding on to them. Tarek, Majeedah, Ahmed and Nancy are all only individual examples of the whole; they cannot be generalized into applying to all young Arab Americans be they Muslim or not. Their answers don’t apply to everyone and vice versa, because, the answer is in each young Arab American torn between America and their heritage, the answer is quite simply America is who you are inside and who you are inside is what America is.
i Arab American National Museum http://www.arabamericanmuseum.org/Arab+American+History.id.150.htm
ii Detroit Free press http://www.freep.com/legacy/jobspage/arabs/arab4.html
iii Detroit Free Press http://www.freep.com/legacy/jobspage/arabs/arab4.html
iv ‘A Walk Along the Beach’ a religious pamphlet by www.islamtomorrow.com
