As I've gotten increasingly round, I've become more, how shall I say, objective of my new shape and situation:
1. I am nine months pregnant. That sentence says it all.
2. My weight gain over these past nine months has given me a unique insight into how attractive food really is. ( It is VERY attractive to someone who could rival a Dyson vaccum cleaner in terms of speed of suction)
3. The Pillsbury Dough Boy ain't got nothing on my roundness. ( He does come in a close second, and only because he can produce the most heavenly fudge brownies)
4 . My brain has sadly lagged in the "control Marwa's body" category as raging hormones have forced several shut downs of key sectors such as appetite, mood and bladder control, until further notice.
5. I have lost interest in attempting to feel guilty and have decided to embrace my lovely baby bump.
6. I have surrendered to baby and allowed her to take control of my insides and vanquish her mortal enemies. ( In case you were wondering, these enemies are my stomach, bladder, intestines, lungs and diaphragm)
7. Breathing is over rated. Panting is the new rage.
8. Jessica Simpson is bigger than I am and she's due around the same time I am. ( Mean I know, but alas, I am a female and my vanity sometimes rears it's ugly head)
9. I shall have to by stock in Palmer's Cocoa butter stretch mark lotion and tummy butter.
10. Sleeping is also over rated. Staring at the ceiling and attempting to count diapers is much more fun for me.
11. It's fun freaking out my non-pregnant friends with obscure facts about what happens to your body when there's a human being in it.
12. Going to my OB/GYN is a lesson in humiliation and strength as dignity is sacrificed. ( Ladies, you know what I mean)
13. Dignity itself is also over rated because using the restroom 1983903724 times a day tends to do that to you and damn the social etiquette.
14. Watching shows of women giving birth is my new favorite thing to do. I can loftily claim what I would or wouldn't do differently than these women. ( I'm so brave...NOT LOL)
15. American Baby Magazine has become my go-to guide.
16. Clothes shopping for baby is much more fun than attempting to squeeze myself into clothes.
17. Daily mishaps of various sorts just make me enjoy being pregnant more and more.
1. I am nine months pregnant. That sentence says it all.
2. My weight gain over these past nine months has given me a unique insight into how attractive food really is. ( It is VERY attractive to someone who could rival a Dyson vaccum cleaner in terms of speed of suction)
3. The Pillsbury Dough Boy ain't got nothing on my roundness. ( He does come in a close second, and only because he can produce the most heavenly fudge brownies)
4 . My brain has sadly lagged in the "control Marwa's body" category as raging hormones have forced several shut downs of key sectors such as appetite, mood and bladder control, until further notice.
5. I have lost interest in attempting to feel guilty and have decided to embrace my lovely baby bump.
6. I have surrendered to baby and allowed her to take control of my insides and vanquish her mortal enemies. ( In case you were wondering, these enemies are my stomach, bladder, intestines, lungs and diaphragm)
7. Breathing is over rated. Panting is the new rage.
8. Jessica Simpson is bigger than I am and she's due around the same time I am. ( Mean I know, but alas, I am a female and my vanity sometimes rears it's ugly head)
9. I shall have to by stock in Palmer's Cocoa butter stretch mark lotion and tummy butter.
10. Sleeping is also over rated. Staring at the ceiling and attempting to count diapers is much more fun for me.
11. It's fun freaking out my non-pregnant friends with obscure facts about what happens to your body when there's a human being in it.
12. Going to my OB/GYN is a lesson in humiliation and strength as dignity is sacrificed. ( Ladies, you know what I mean)
13. Dignity itself is also over rated because using the restroom 1983903724 times a day tends to do that to you and damn the social etiquette.
14. Watching shows of women giving birth is my new favorite thing to do. I can loftily claim what I would or wouldn't do differently than these women. ( I'm so brave...NOT LOL)
15. American Baby Magazine has become my go-to guide.
16. Clothes shopping for baby is much more fun than attempting to squeeze myself into clothes.
17. Daily mishaps of various sorts just make me enjoy being pregnant more and more.
