In the nearly two years I've been here in Egypt, I've run the gamut of emotions from elation and excitement, to depression and disgust. Most recently, my feelings towards this struggling country have stalled out at frustration and, dare I say it, disgust. Please don't attack me for that. I'm merely saying what many of you Egyptians say everyday so for me to have formed the same opinion is no attack. It's, quite sadly, a fact. Why have I stalled out at these two negative emotions? Listing the reasons would take a long time, but a few stand out.
Reason number 1
While many of you may disagree with me and call me extreme or dramatic or anything else for what I am about to list, I am believing this more and more. Egypt's extremely polluted state has beyond disgusted me, it has terrified me,especially since I now have my daughter to think about. She keeps getting sick and her doctor listed the polluted water, food and air as a main reason. As a mom, I'm angry and sad. As a rational person, I'm angry and sad. As a person who's lived here long enough to know better, I'm hardly phased. The garbage in the streets, the bugs in the food, the dirt and smog and chemicals in the air, they all contribute to the countless unnecessary illnesses many kids and adults have here in Egypt. IT'S PREVENTABLE. But, sadly, most of the population cares not. I'm disgusted.
Reason number 2
I dare say the traffic. I'm used to rush hour and accidents and construction blocking traffic and backing it up, but, here in Egypt, things would go much more smoothly if people followed road rules. I think that most here actually relish in breaking them and doing their own thing, (even if it means possibly killing people, which happens more often then not) and making the problem worse. For example, driving both ways on a one way street means unavoidable disaster. Or, crossing a railroad when it clearly says not to. However, I suppose it's not their fault they're sharing the streets with donkey- and horse-carts, fruit vendors, garbage, pedestrians and parking lots. The point is, breaking the rules makes it worse and dangerous, and IT'S PREVENTABLE, but, no one truly cares. It's sad. I'm sad.
Reason number 3
I've met my share or rude people. People whom I 've gone head-to-head with. I despise rudeness and try my best to not be rude, although I do have my occasional moments when I slip, but, many Egyptians take relish in inflicting their rudeness, mean actions and malice on their fellow countrymen. It's horrifying and the attitude of "it's me against the world" has me gagging. It beats out the shining examples of all the people that rush to your aid to help you when you're in need, or the acts of kindess by strangers. I've seen all those, but then, someone, or some groups, go and destroy that. I can't keep a lid on my anger much longer and I shudder when I think my daughter has to learn to navigate this at a very young age.
Reason number 4
The materialism of this society has become, IN MY OPINION, a cultural pillar. Yes in America we have it too, in spades, but, in the vast pool of people and the middle class, we are hardly ever judged so harshly at school or work or otherwise, by what brand name shoes, socks, clothes, jewellery an d accessories we are wearing. Over here it's like you're either dressed in flags and horse and ponies and intertwined letter handbags and checkered purses ( I cannot type their names, but they are easily identifiable) or you're pretty much just wearing blah. Oh and let's not forget what car you drive, or how skinny or heavy you are...and the list goes on. I know that there are alot of people in the Egyptian society who aren't this shallow or stupid, but, I've seen more of the shallow than I have of the normal.
I am thankful to God that I am here with my husband and daughter and that I live a good life, in a nice apartment with good clothes and food on the table, and, I haven't forgotten it was my choice to move here. This a chapter in my life, written by God, and I do not regret it. However, it's tough and tough and tough. Unless you've made the same move as me, you won't truly understand how tough, because, it's a million little things that pull you down here that get to you. And the thousands of good things that balance it out sometimes are too far in between to remember. In the end,when is too much, too much? I am happy, please do not misunderstand, but, I miss America and the lifestyle there. It's as simple as that, and, I will continue to look for the good here in Egypt, because, I'm built that way and my husband and daughter deserve that at the very least. Especially my daughter because I want her to always, always see the good and wonderful in any situation or circumstance.
